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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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