Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops