Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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