Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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civil rights

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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