Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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Knock Knock.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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