What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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How old are you? 7

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Where's my baby??

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops