What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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