What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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