What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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A house comes around the corner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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