Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Your big dick.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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