Peas

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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