what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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My cat just died.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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There were 50 koreans; half of them liked gangnam style but the other half didn't. Why didn't the other half like gangnam style? They were north koreans.

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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