How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

Knock knock Fuck off!

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

Whats green? Mountain Dew.

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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