What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops