What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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