What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops