I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

H2O corndogs running around naked CC

What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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