Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Death by kayak

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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