roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

Whats tha difference between blacktop and an airplane wing??? Well, alot. I bet you knew that.

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

What is better than tissues? Correct!

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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