Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Tony Romo

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Cripples are lame.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops