There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

thumb_up thumb_down +20

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +18

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +16

VITAMIN C!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops