What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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guess what? bannanas

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops