your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What do I hate? people

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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