Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Justin Bieber

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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