Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Why? Why not?

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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