What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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