Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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