A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Albert your flies undone.

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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Micheal Curran...that is all.

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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