How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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