What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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my penis

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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whats green and lives in the water

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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