Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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a black man pays his child support

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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