What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A miracle

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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