What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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