A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Uh... You know them N words... When they come crashing into the neiborhood the neiborhood quality drops and gets totally destroyed youknow what im sayan? Uh yeah sure totally... Then you know they spread around smell up dirty and toxicify the whole area, they become so fat and loud and like take everything away from you. Yeah HEIL KKK!! WUUT? I was talking Aboot them Nukular warheds! You you... SOMETHING! Hey! Dont get offensive man, sorry I was just KIDDING!... yeah... KIDDIIING!

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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