What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops