What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops