- Anti Joke

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry".

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

A drunk guy walks into a car

Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.