How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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