Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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