Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops