There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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