Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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