A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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the sky is green no it is not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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