what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson bleeding, I spelled " red" wrong

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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What did casey anthony say when the ruled her as not guilty? "yay"

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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