Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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