Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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