Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops