-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops