what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Well I would open the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

thumb_up thumb_down -6

fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

thumb_up thumb_down -6

3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Want to hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did the black man cross the Atlantic? An airplane. He also could have used a boat. However, airplanes are a preferred form of travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops