Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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