What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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where do you hide a black mans paycheck? somewhere he would never find it

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

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What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

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Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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