why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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