Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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there's a few black guys in a car, who's driving? their dad because they're kids

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy s***

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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