Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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a dedicated fat guy joins a kung fu dojo he is asked to dedicate his like to his kung fu the fat man dose not he is already dedicated to being a fat guy

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What do you call a bad joke website? anti joke

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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