What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

YOU

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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