what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

read this sentence again.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

epic win?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops