Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops