How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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