A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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someone called someone else a frog

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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