A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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