Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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Grace Ackerson

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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how many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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