Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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