Why did the boy drop his vannlai ice cream?because Vannlia ice came.

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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