Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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Tony Romo

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops