What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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whats worse than finding a holocaust in you apple...........

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops