So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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