How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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