How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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i saw amango it splootered

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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